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Split Decision by David Perlmutter

Split Decision

by David Perlmutter
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Page 4

“Stop it!” Jody said. “I’m serious about this, Sam. I don’t want some crazy girl coming after me. God knows, I have enough trouble fending off the boys, without having someone with the same equipment as me wanting a piece of me, too!”

“It might not be a sex thing, Jody,” Sam reminded her, assuming a playful “fighting” stance as he did. “She might just be a villainess trying to make trouble for you by taunting you. Calling out publicly for you to wrestle her might just be a way of luring you into a trap.”

“Well, villainess or not,” Jody said, “I’ll wait until she decides to make a move, whatever it may be. And, if it turns out that she is bad news for me, sexual or otherwise, I’ll still be able to drop her like a ton of bricks. You know me, Sam. I’m too busy with my sports and super stuff to even think about being out of shape!”

“Well, I’d always be in shape, too, if I was a robot!”

“Are you implying something, Sam?” an offended Jody blazed.

“No—God, no, Jody!” Sam nervously said as he pulled the collar of his sweater. “I’m just saying that you’re not mortal like the rest of us, and so…”

She picked him up and threw him onto the nearest bench, smashing it into firewood as she did.

“STOP REMINDING ME THAT I’M A FREAK!” she screamed. “I get enough of that kind of crap from everyone else. I don’t need it from YOU!”

She ran outside, crying, with her trophy in hand. Sam, once he recovered, ran out after her and found her around the corner from the velodrome, presumably waiting for a bus and still crying, red—eyed.

“Hey, hey!” he said, pulling her face close to his. “I wasn’t trying to hurt your feelings!”

“Well, you did! And you better be careful with what you say to me, Sam…”

“Why don’t you go home and rest?” he said. “That way, you’ll be ready and prepared in case something happens. Like, say, that crazy girl actually comes after you…”

“Yeah. You’re right. As usual,” Jody answered, giving Sam a powerful hug that nearly broke his ribs, as Jody’s hugs were prone to do. “I’m gonna go back to base and power down a bit. You have a rest, too, okay?”

“Sure. But walk, don’t fly. Flying is just for superheroics, otherwise it’s on the Q.T. Remember?”

“Yeah. Q.T. sounds good right now,” Jody yawned.

They went their separate ways, not knowing how soon—and how dramatically—they would be reunited.

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About the Author

David Perlmutter

David Perlmutter is a freelance writer from Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada.

Story Discussion

Stories by David Perlmutter

Split Decision by David Perlmutter

Split Decision

He was a male dog like Sam himself, but there the similarities between them ended. The stranger’s fur was white, as opposed to Sam’s light gray, and he was both taller and more powerfully built than the Hudson High cheerleader. This meant that Sam would likely lose if he chose to fight him—though Sam was not much of a fighting guy, anyway. But what was most odd to Sam was the stranger’s dress—a cape, speedo and boots, all red, with a white “R” insignia prominently displayed on all of them. At first, Sam wondered if his reputation had preceded him, and that this was a member of his “tribe” (as Jody had called them) who was after the particular brand of “loving” only he could conceivably supply. But that idea quickly passed—Sam knew full well that his “kind” didn’t advertize themselves that flamboyantly in public. Only beings who mocked them publicly, in the subtle racist fashion of the times, did that. So Sam decidedly to deal with this fellow purely based on what he clearly was: an invader of his personal sanctity.

“Who are you?” he demanded. “And how did you get into my house? I have a deadbolt!”

“I expected that from the likes of you,” answered the stranger curtly. Then, in mocking stereotypical “gay” tones, he added: “Even though you’ve likely seen some royalty in your time, huh? Just not me, sugar—not ‘til now!”

“And you are?” Sam prompted angrily.

“Remus The Twenty-Third,” came the reply, as the stranger switched back to his normal, commanding heterosexual tone of voice. “I’m the King—KING, mind you—of a little plot of land way out there in the farthest regions of space. Some place that you could only dream of visiting!”

Sam, calling on his speed in place of his limited strength, tried to rush past Remus and escape him, but Remus caught him mid—sprint, and, with a powerful thrust, threw him backwards into a conveniently placed chair, from which the seemingly invincible monarch continued to pontificate down towards the secret agent/cheerleader, whom he clearly regarded as a very inferior being.

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